Tests for Measuring an Inability to Understand Ambiguous Statements Should NOT Be Worded Ambiguously, Goddamnit
I am very often accused by friends of having autism, ADHD, or both. I do not do much to dispel this myth.
I get why they say it, honestly - I am really inattentive, I have the memory span of a chair, I obsessively research topics I'm interested in, I love being specific and wording my sentences incredibly intentionally - but neither of those things have actually been an issue for me previously, so I kind of assumed I was Quirky rather than A Bearer of Autismos. When I compare myself to two of my friends who have diagnosed ADHD I see am not nearly as bad as either of them, so I figured "eh I'm sure it's not that bad."
However, recently I decided to reschedule my therapist just to do a little mental checkup on myself (the last time I saw her was like 3~ years back), and I figured that on the way I might aswell get that little ditty out of the way: Am I really neurotypical or am I just Not As Bad As Others?
I am well aware that online quizzes and tests have all the scientific validity of "my mommy told me I am special", but I thought it could atleast give me some metric to know how serious the ordeal is, so I went on reddit and decided to look for some Autistic Approved tests. After trying out a few of them, I gotta tell ya, if these tests are meant for people who tend to interpret sentences literally rather then implicitly then whoever designed these tests is a fucking sadist.
Ok so first of all, any question involving "other people", right? Who the fuck are other people? "Do you act like yourself when talking to other people" it depends heavily on who the people are! If I am with my friends, sure I tend to be more open about myself and have less of a filter, but with my family? If I was direct I'd get fucking massacred at dinner. I do not open up my deepest fears to the supermarket cashier. My tinder date does not need to know about my complicated relationship with my father!
"I find numbers, dates and strings of information fascinating." Strings of information? EVERYTHING IS A STRING OF INFORMATION! What do you MEAN by this? Do you mean whether I enjoy finding patterns in numbers and dates? Do you mean I have an interest in mathematics? Are you asking if I'm the physical embodiment of the nerd emoji where I just love learning?
Also, something that absolutely kills me is that most of the "I have trouble doing X" questions do not account for if the quiz taker is working around their inability. For example - "Do you have trouble starting tasks?" I don't anymore. But that's because I have a system now. I absolutely have a problem starting tasks but unless I sat and thought about it I'd go "I mean not really" because I WORKED AROUND IT and now just do it automatically. It became part of my habits!
I'm just going to wait for next monday and ask my therapist directly, easier than this entire endeavor.