"Help, My Country Is Run By Clowns!" and Other Relatable Sentiments

25 Nov, 2023

NOTE: This is a barely coherent rant about israeli politics. If you want something more meaningful or structured, check out my other posts.

"My instructions were clear: there are to be no expressions of joy."

No, dear reader, this quote isn't from dystopian young adult novel with a villain so cartoonish in their motivations you'd wonder how anyone would ever trust them with a position of power, this is a real actual sentence said yesterday evening by one Itamar Ben Gvir, convicted terrorist and Israel's current minister of Defense. Yes you read that right: convicted terrorist, and minister of defense. A combination that's been going about as well as throwing ice on a greasefire.

Ben Gvir's political views were so extreme, the IDF refused to have him serve. In his time as a lawyer, his client list has been described as "a 'Who's Who' of suspects in Jewish terror cases and hate crimes in Israel." According to him, he's been indicted 53 times. And despite all of this, because no one was willing to form a coalition with God Emperor Benjamin Netanyahu anymore, Ben Gvir now has a personal militia under his rule.

He's not even competent. Were he competent, I could atleast respect him in some degree, right? "He's fucking awful and I want him out, but I can atleast understand why he was picked." But he isn't! He wakes up every morning, puts on his clown makeup and wig, and thinks up how to do the least necessary to gain the most news-worthy attention. On October 7th, after Hamas took 250~ hostages, killed 1400 people, and captured several cities near the border, Racist Potatohead made a declaration that Israel was entering a state of emergency... after shabbat.¹ When we were actively in war, he decided it's the perfect time to go take a nap and have a nice, family dinner. He later tried to go hug and comfort the kidnapped's families, and got told, out loud, to "not touch [them]" out of disgust. He kissed them against their will. In front of cameras.

The quote at the beginning of this post comes from a recent statement as minister of defense, following the release of 40~ Palestinean prisoners, where he said the prisoners' families are not allowed to celebrate their release. There is some argument for this, being that many of them were in prison for attempted murder so it could be construed as celebrating terrorism, but... dude come on, they're finally seeing their family after years in prison. Of course they'd be happy.

And I am beyond shocked that he's even allowed to be in politics, because - as previously stated - he's a fucking terrorist himself! Ben Gvir has been a follower and supporter of the Kach political group, a far-right orthodox zionist political party which held the exact views you'd think a party with that description would hold:

• Non-Jews would either not hold the same rights as Jews did, or would be straight up expelled from the country.
• Every Arab-Israeli from the age of 18 would be required to perform 3 years of manual labor.
• Restructuring education to be more Judiasm-focused, and adding an Israeli Pride class.
• If someone throws a stone at a soldier, the soldier is both allowed to shoot at will, and their entire village is to be expelled.
• Illegalizing marriage between jews and non-jews. This group was outlawed from participating in politics after they won a single chair in the Knesset², something which no one actually expected to happen, leading to a (nearly) unanimous vote passing a law saying "you can't be a political party if you're explicitly racist." Later, the group was outlawed period and designated as a terror organization following the Cave of the Patriarchs massacre, where one of the group's followers went on to open fire at an entire mosque. This man's name was Baruch Goldstein.

Itamar Ben Gvir had a framed picture of Baruch Goldstein in his fucking house before going into politics.

God help us all.

#israel #politics #rant